It’s been a while since I’ve had dreams I remembered to a T.
I’ve had fleeting memories of dreams. But last night was the first night I actually felt they were vivid.
Let’s talk about my fleeting dream first.
If you follow my main blog, you’ll know all about Sunday guy. Sunday guy isn’t faceless guy. No. Sunday guy has a distinct face I’ve gotten to know over the course of years we’ve shared the same school and hometown.
Then one day, he stopped coming to church and my Sundays changed.
I had a dream of him.
The dream was more like a wish. I have regrets of not telling him I liked him, so I believe that dreaming of him meant that I was dwelling on that regret and wishing that I could do it all over again.
When we start missing people, when we think of them constantly, that’s when they tend to appear in our dreams.
He was one of those people I missed.
Mostly, it was the regret of never having told him.
Last night though, my dream revolved around friendship.
I came home around 9PM from a viewing, in support of a friend who’d recently lost her grandmother.
In the dream, she and the rest of my best friends were with me. It started like the actual day. Three of us headed to the flower shop. We picked carnations. But then, I decided I didn’t like just the carnation, so I had them add a Buddha. Moments later, I change my mind again. And then again. And the woman, who was a man in real life, told me she’d kick me out if I changed my mind again.
The first time I changed my mind, it was due to the bouquet costing $40 too much. I couldn’t pay for that. I wasn’t sure I had the money to pay for that. I’ve never been frugal when it comes to showing support for others. That was the first I’d actually voiced out to myself that I couldn’t afford it.
A part of me in the dream felt like I was being stingy. And another felt like I wasn’t even supposed to be there.
My friends and I leave the shop with nothing in our hands.
We are transported to a some type of amusement/ obstacle course place where we immerse ourselves, playing. And we are complete as four.
I remember in the dream, during that part, that I was having fun being with them, messing around, not caring how ridiculous or competitive I looked. It was like I was me from back in high school, back in middle school. I was unafraid of showing a part of me that now feels isn’t me.
It was a good dream in the end.
Dreaming of money is dreaming of power. Depending on the circumstance, you are either losing them or gaining them. Negative vs Positive.
I think, for my case, there was a sense that I felt like I had no power, but in contrast to the next part of my dream, I felt powerful.
I suppose, it could mean that there are two possible paths for me in equal. And depending on what I choose to do, back out or jump, will define if I have power or not.