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lost things

I don’t always dream. I don’t always dream with clear details nor events that are sequential.

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But here is what I remember.

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Posted by on December 7, 2015 in Dream Diary

 

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His Existence Part II

It’s been quite some time since I’d promised or at least claimed to write a second part to the previous post about my faceless dream guy. There’s been a lot of changes to my lifestyle between February and now. Honestly, those 6 months is plenty time to change gears, to walk on a different path. And this faceless man in my dreams has also changed.

I’m already at that point where he doesn’t matter as much anymore. He will be who ever he is meant to be and I don’t wish to worry about it as much anymore. But here is a little more of who he was to me and how I saw him.

 

He smiled with pearly white teeth and soft eyes. There’s no particular color because in the dream every thing was black and white. He was black and white in every thing. His actions were just that simple. And you would just know that he was genuinely kind. Deeply carved into his fiber is kindness without limitation. He didn’t have a particularly large forehead, but he was bigger than I was. He towered over me who is only 5’1″. His hair, I know from memory, was soft and easily carried by the wind. I just knew. He was careful and restrained, as to not scare me.

I’ve forgotten a lot of little details as time has done very little for my memory. I don’t exactly remember what he wore. Maybe a flannel shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, maybe plaid and maybe it was paired with jeans. Maybe he wore a sweater or a jacket because it was always winter in my eyes.  I just know he was comfortable sitting with me on my bricked front porch that didn’t have a proper furniture. We sat on the stairs and talked about things I don’t remember and never quite recalled. He sat straight up and looked at me while we talked. They were jeans. I know for sure. His forearms were never covered and I could see the veins on them. I could feel his heart beat through his wrists. I saw the nape of his neck.

Maybe he wasn’t handsome, but his actions made him handsome and frankly, that’s enough reason to go looking for a guy like him.

 

&velajune

 
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Posted by on July 17, 2013 in Dream Diary

 

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His Existence Part I

For as long as I could remember, I’ve dreamt of a man without a face, always holding my hand, kissing me on the forehead and giving me comfort with his smiles and laughter.

The first time I was able to recollect my dreams completely began during my preteens. I was no older than a six grader when I first realized that my dreams may have underlying meanings to them. It was also then that this faceless man became noticeable. As do many people, I became very curious as to who he was. At the time, I had presumed that it must be my late older brother.

My older brother died of still birth. He was my parents first born. Unfortunately for my family, the topic of my older brother was almost close to taboo while I was growing up.  My parents tried their best to keep the information to themselves and I kept my dreams to myself. The more I entertained the idea of the faceless man being my brother the more I felt attached to this brother that I never met. I liked the idea that this brother of mine that I never knew was reaching out to me in my dreams.

Often in my dreams, the faceless man would only smile down on me. He kept a good distance, never so close to me, but near enough that I knew he was there. Because he never lessened the gap between us, I soon forgot all about him and stopped looking for him in my dreams.

As I entered high school, I dreamt of the faceless man once again. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 25, 2013 in Dream Diary

 

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